Got Conflict?

My definition of love: Caring about someone so much it makes you do things you would never do otherwise.

I’m sure many of us can relate to thing situation. And it’s not only with your significant other. It applies to all those in your life you might stab if you didn’t love them. Don’t look at me that way…you know you’ve been there. Husband, boyfriend, mother, father, child, siblings. I’m sure one of those people in your life has been on your hit list for one reason or another.

If they drive us so crazy, why do we keep going back or maintaining the relationship? This is the secret to the great romance. It’s easy for two people who get along to fall in love and live happily ever after. It’s when the OCD person falls for the clutter bug…when the rich guy falls for the maid or hooker (my Pretty Woman plug)…the cop falls for the suspect. The conflict of these relationships builds our anticipation. Conflict draws us in and makes us root for or against our hero and heroine. Without barriers to overcome and challenges to beat, the love story would be somewhat anticlimactic.

I’ve been working through a great online workshop surrounding conflict. It has helped me delve deeper into my characters. It made me think about their backgrounds, core beliefs, and what keep them struggling to stay together. When you understand their underlying conflicts, it helps to build a stronger relationship and the HEA is so much sweeter. If you think about all the characters or couples you love, what drives you to care about them? I’m pretty sure it’s not because they saw each other across the room and immediately fell in love and ran off and got married. That would be one short book.

So, next time you’re reading or writing, think about the conflict unfolding between your hero and heroine. What struggles pushes them apart? How does their love overcome these barriers? And does it make you appreciate their love more because of it?

One of my favorite authors who have a talent for writing conflict and creating strong but flawed characters is JR Ward. Her Black Dagger Brotherhood has some of the most flawed heroes I’ve ever met. They have a crap load of baggage they bring with them into these relationships. Their females aren’t much better. But each time one of the Brothers is able to overcome their past or current adversity and open up to love, it creates a bond that’s very difficult to break. As a reader, I want this connection. I want to my heroine to love them. Through the Brother’s pain I can see their redeeming quality and want my heroine to see it too.

What characters are close to your heart and why do their conflicts make you love them more?

Thanks for stopping by to chat!
Vivi